"We will share parenting" can hide very different expectations. In Zi Wei Dou Shu, the Children Palace can frame care and development questions, while the Spouse Palace concerns the agreement between partners. It cannot predict a pregnancy or rate someone's worth as a parent.
Name the actual stage
A couple deciding whether to have children faces a different question from parents who need after-school coverage. List pickup times, appointments, costs and backup care. A promise to help is less useful than a calendar with named responsibilities.
Revisit the plan
Read the natal palaces before the decade and annual layers. Work changes and family care needs can disrupt a plan, so review the division of labor regularly. Use medical advice and personal choice for health or fertility decisions.